


Say you remember me

by fandom_life_damned_me_to_hiatus



Category: Barduil - Fandom, The Hobbit
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Barduil - Freeform, Deaths, M/M, Reincarnation AU, Teacher Bard, bookstore owner Thranuil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:44:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4427096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_life_damned_me_to_hiatus/pseuds/fandom_life_damned_me_to_hiatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reincarnation Au!.<br/>Thranduil has been cursed to live his life with the chance of loosing Bard. Bard can die but he comes back (aka regenerates). But he doesn't remember (sometimes does after a while).  The conditions of Bard coming back<br/>1.	Thranduil must  not try to make Bard remember, he must do so by himself<br/>2.	 Bard must fall for Thranduil before death in order to come back<br/>a.	If this fails to happen Bard will not reincarnate<br/>3.	Thranduil cannot use any source of magic etc. to woo the Bowman<br/>a.	If this happens Bard will die and Thranduil must start again</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Near mental breakdowns on a park bench.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first actual fic. I am sorry if there is mistakes. I had this idea a little while ago and thought I could give it a go. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. Also, if you have any pointers or things I could improve please let me know I would really appreciate it!  
> Bold= Bard P.o.v  
> Italics= Past/ recolections  
> ***= change of pov or tense or time

Chapter 1:

Thranduil just sat there. He was at the park bench, their park bench. After all these years, in the ever changing universe, no matter how much suffering the earth had seen. The park bench that Thranduil sat on was his only constant. He resents it but also would call it his most precious possession. As Thranduil again got caught in the depths of his mind, he was rudely yanked out of it by a couple sitting on the bench across from him.

Thranduil wanted to rip the happy smiles from their faces, he wanted to grab their stupid backpacks and hit them repeatedly. But after years on this earth he knew he would be arrested. He doesn’t want that. Last time he was arrested he saw him though. That’s how they met again, well, last time.

**************************************************************************************************

Thranduil would tell this story differently but this is how he ended up in this mess.

 _“Please sir. All I ask is that you give me some food.” The pitifully looking old man said to the Elven King. Thranduil looked down from his elk and saw the man. He assumed the man was old for the likes of men. He could practically hear Bard in the back of his head telling him to just give him some. But the inner tyrant came out._  
_“What makes you think that you are worthy of such food. What do you expect, me to give you a meal and some for you to have at a later time, and inevitably one of my kin will have to go without?” Thranduil’s voice was growing colder. And it didn’t come gradually like the winters chill, but like a roaring blizzard it came out of nowhere. The man cowered away and his company couldn’t help but flinch._

 _The man stood up though. Thranduil, taken aback by this man’s courage forgot that he was in authority. Thranduil straightened himself up and was ready to shoo this man away. But the weak-looking man did not move an inch. “But sir, I have lost my job and my wife is on death’s doorstep. I do not just need food for myself but for my children and her. Without your help I am afraid she will perish.” Thranduil showed no signs of backing down._  
_“If you do not remove yourself from my path mortal I will remove your body from your head.” Thranduil spat at him. But in that moment the sky grew dark and the man transformed._

_The man revealed himself to be a powerful warlock. He told Thranduil that his ice cold heart and hypocrisy deserved to be repaid throughout eternity. And just as Thranduil was ready to strike his sword at the creature, he vanished. This left Thranduil and his company uneasy. For that act alone proved that he was a magical being and capable of causing such harm._

_Thranduil was worried above most. But his demeanour certainly didn’t show it. “It was complete and utter blasphemy. No being in Middle Earth has the ability to place a curse with such severity. He was probably just some lowly warlock that can only conjure up a meagre storm._

But valar knows it wasn’t. This action was one of the things that Thranduil regretted most. But his biggest mistake was falling for the Bargeman.

************************************************************************************************************

Thranduil’s anger was growing and he knew he had to keep it in check. He bunched his hands into fist and pressed against the bench. Right next to his hand he saw something that cut through him like a dagger. He saw a heart with ‘Bard + Thran 4ever’. But he couldn’t complain much because that was true. Just not how he wanted it. It gave him a sense of happiness because of course, he will see Bard again. It was inevitable that he would see him. But Thranduil had a very problematic relationship with happiness. It simple terms it was like a dog chasing its own tail; rather pathetic, seeing the dog chasing after something that it won’t be able to get.

Thranduil remembered the relief he felt when he first saw Bard when he came back. He remembered that he thought he was going mad. For he saw Bard grow old and grey, he had him in his arms when he took his final breath. He had Bain, Tilda, Sigrid and even Legolas there with him. He saw Bard’s body lowered into the ground. He went into a bit of a funk actually.

But when Bard’s children grew old themselves, he returned. But when the ‘King’ returned he had no clue of the Elven King’s existence and even the children. He was ‘Bard of Laketown’ all the same, but he had no memory of his past.

_Tilda was the first to see him. She saw him driving a barge of fish into the ports. Tilda was sure it was him. Ran up to him and held on for a good while, but all Bard could say was “Hello? Sorry but, who are you?”_   
_“Da, it’s me, Tilda! Your daughter, remember?” She said so happily, jumping out of her skin, wanting to run and tell her siblings._   
_“You, my daughter? What a lark. My lady, I must assume you are joking for you are old enough to be my aunt.” Tilda ran home crying, and telling the others of her horrible encounter._

_The three Bowmans saw him, the rush of nostalgia when they saw their father young again. They knew it was him because of the photos they have in the manor of him. After careful consideration the trio told Thranduil of this. Thranduil, completely disregarding his usual majestic disposition, and ran like a madman to see his Bard._

_Delighted with the sight he had seen, he walked over to ‘Bard the Bowman’ and introduced himself. It was a pleasant interaction and the ‘new Bard’ had taken a liking to Thranduil. One night though, when Thranduil and Bard were taking one of their evening strolls through the forest something changed. Bard started crying._   
_“What is wrong Bard?” Thranduil said rushing to comfort his friend._   
_“I remember, I remember you holding onto me and saying you loved me.” The two wept mercilessly until Bard decided he wanted to see his children, and to apologise for his actions. It all was good from there, but Thranduil had to admit he held on a little tighter at night-time._

He thought Bard would stay in his life forever, but they didn’t plan for Bard to be killed.

And thus it started again.


	2. Bookworms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been 25 years since he last saw Bard. Thranduil had no clue where to look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, not sure if people actually read these, but if so thanks for reading this, and the story!   
> If anyone has any feedback about the story so far or any writing tips they'd like to share please do. I would really appreciate it. Thanks again.

It had been 25 years since he last saw Bard.  Thranduil had no clue where to look. 

 

And as you can guess, Thranduil couldn’t stay in one place for too long, because he doesn’t want to be hunted down with pitch forks, he learnt that the hard way.  At the moment, Thranduil was a bookshop owner in Dorking.  The last time he was here he was a teacher (A short lived career for him indeed).  He sometimes sees his old students buying a book or two from him. But no one remembers him.  That’s how he wants it. 

 

Thranduil has figured out the pattern of Bard’s appearances.  He always turns up somewhere in the UK, and as much as the elf loved the ‘United Kingdom’ he would much rather be somewhere warm for once.  But he needed Bard. Bard was his lifeline.    

 

Day in and day out it was all pretty much the same occurrences.  He had a couple of regulars but there was nothing of substance.  The only stimulation he got was when Bilbo, his neighbour, (and the coffee shop owner next door) came in.  Bilbo often told frivolous stories of the scandals going on in the town. 

 

“Did you hear that 3 houses sold last week?” Bilbo said as if it was the biggest gossip ever.

“And? Honestly Bilbo people can live here. I am pretty new only 5 years.” Thranduil said as he continued to glance at his book.  He rather enjoyed his solitude, in fact he preferred it.  But Bilbo was just too persistent to talk to him that it had become habit to let the small man in. 

“Of course, but it’s the people I thought you would like.” Bilbo paused waiting for his friend to make a sarcastic remark but it didn’t come, so he took it as an invitation to continue. “One has this gorgeous man who I thought you would take a liking to.  Actually, I don’t know your type? Do you have a type? I assume you are gay because you never bat an eye at any of the ladies who flirt with you but I see you look at me...” Bilbo laughed.

“In your dreams Bilbo, but tell me more.”  Thranduil said, actually closing his book.  The doorbell chimed but that didn’t faze the pair.

 

“I caught a look this morning.  He is tall, but shorter than you.  Gorgeous, like I mean gorgeous dark hair and a body that I can only assume was sculpted by the gods.”  Bilbo took a sharp breath in, obviously excited, “And…. I asked, he is here for the long run.” Bilbo paused and walked behind the counter and stole Thranduil’s water; causing the elf to make a disgruntled noise.

“What about you? I assume you can’t be happy just because there is someone whom I might like?” Thranduil questioned.  A smirk sprouted on his face as the small man’s face grew as red as his mug.

“You may be right.” Bilbo said cryptically.

“No! You do!” Thranduil laughed, “Tell me more, tell me more.” He sung like the women in grease.

 

There was a woman standing at the counter, and Thranduil cursed himself for deciding to work in a shop and not something that required more isolation from people. The woman began to tap her foot impatiently.  Thranduil shot her an icy glare that he was known for around town.  He got up reluctantly and served her.  But he didn’t escape the interaction without her complaining about ‘his attitude’ and ‘customer service’. 

“You were saying?” Thranduil spun on his heels and practically stormed back to his chair.

“His name is Thorin.  He is not much taller than me, which is good, he is really charming.  Actually he is in cahoots with the new guy.” Bilbo’s head was swarming with the possibilities of double dates he was just so excited. But he was bought back down to earth when Thranduil nudged him. “we have a date Friday.”  The next few hours they chattered on about the possibility of Bilbo having a date they lost track of time.

 

“Bilbo! It is 5pm!” Thranduil screeched. Bilbo, completely shocked, he rushed out of the shop in order to close his store and apologise to his staff for taking an extraordinarily long break.

 

 

 ************************************************************************

**At this point there were so many boxes in Bard’s house he really considered how long it would take to unpack.**

**Bard just moved to Dorking when he got a job at the local primary school.  His house was a lot smaller than what he was used to.  It had 2 bedrooms, which was larger than he needed, but he always liked an extra room so he could make a library.  His love for books was the reason him and his last partner broke up. Whenever Bard thought of it he literally cringed.   He lost many good books that day.  So when he came here this morning he was delighted to learn there was an excellent bookshop in town.  A few of the townspeople actually came to his house and introduced themselves. Bard couldn’t believe that people were so nice in these parts.   He spent the day unpacking his home and making his bed.  He didn’t realise that the day was gone until the sun was down and all he had left to unpack was his library.  He decided to call it quits and he was rather hungry.  But he didn’t apprehend the thought that he needed to go to the groceries.  So Bard set out on a mission to get himself some dinner.  He found a convenience store that thankfully was still open and bought provisions to have for the next few days.**

**Leaving the store, Bard got lost.  He knew he should have bought a map or traced his steps. He found himself wandering aimlessly throughout the town and taking mental notes of the stores he wished to see.  But he was dying to take a look at the bookstore a man named ‘Bilbo’ had spoken about.  And truth be told, he wanted to meet the man that Bilbo said ‘he had to meet’.  Just as all hope was lost he saw the bookshop.  The store was closed but Bard peered through the window and saw the vast amount of books he couldn’t wait to buy.  He wrote down the address on his receipt and saw his street sign.  How lucky that his home was relatively close to the bookshop.**

 *****************************************************************************

 

Alarm clocks blaring, Thranduil rolled out of bed in a huff and trotted down stairs into his shop.  The thing he liked about living above the shop is he could sleep in as late as he possibly could and not be late.  And seeing as he is the only employee, and his boss, he could open when he wanted.  But he generally opened at 8 in the morning.  That way he would get some of Bilbo’s morning coffee crowd coming in and buying stuff.

 

This morning only two people have come in so far.  Both of them were so boring and tried to strike up a conversation with him.  But their attempts were met with the odious glare of Thranduil.  Both promptly left and no one has come in since.   It was about midday so now the shop was deserted so Thranduil decided to continue to read his book.  He was reading ‘The Book Thief’ and he had to admit that it was a great book.  He was nearly finished and he didn’t want it to end.  He was on the verge of tears when the door opened.  

 

The blonde didn’t bother looking up as he thought it was Bilbo or some other person he didn’t want to see so he ignored them.  Ten minutes had passed and Thranduil thought the stranger had left so he decided to try taking a little nap (he tended to like getting away with sleeping).  But little did he know that the person was walking over to the desk to but a whole pile of books.

 

 *************************************************************************

**The day had gone slowly but enjoyably as Bard unpacked his treasured books.  His collection seemed larger in this smaller space but he liked that it was like a little book hoard.  He felt like a dragon protecting its gold in a way.  He was a real sucker for books.  He was known as a book maniac at his past schools because of his infatuation.**

**He craved the written word and hunts in bookshops for days on end; he will read anything from main-stream fiction to unusual poems and plays.  So when he was finished unloading the final books onto his shelves he set out to conquer the book shop.**

**He found his way to the shop with ease.  He internally screamed for joy when he saw it was open.  Bursting at the seams with anticipation the brunette waltzed into the store, hit with the scent of books he instantly fell in love.  He saw a blonde man lounging about at the front desk and said hello but got no ounce of recognition from him.  If that wasn’t enough when Bard asked him questions the blonde just kept on reading his book.  That got on his nerves, this man was supposed to be helping him, since he was essentially paying him.  But Bard wish he got a better view of the others face, see if he was intentionally ignoring him or if he truly was infused into his book.**

**After an hour or so of browsing Bard had so many books he could hardly see over the top of them.  The brunette had hoped that the man would offer to help him, but no such luck.   Bard navigated his way around the shelves towards the front desk.  Just as he was near the desk the oblivious blonde man swung himself around.  Unable to see over his stack Bard couldn’t get a look at him.**

**Bard handed the books to him one by one, but the blonde stranger didn’t look up. That made him more annoyed, _where is the manager?_ He thought _why has he not been fired?_**

**“You certainly are a bookworm.” The blonde said finally while scanning the books.  His voice was deep and rich; it had a regal tone to it.  Bard’s anger almost melted away if it were not for the fact he still didn’t look up.**

**“I certainly am.  You have a wonderful selection.  If only I had more arms I would have bought more.” Bard said politely, he was not about to become petty because of this man’s rudeness.  But when Bard spoke the blonde man literally froze.  His eyes slowly creeped up to face him and they were was plastered with a look Bard couldn’t put his finger on.  They were an icy blue colour that reminded the brunette of winter, but not in a cold way, but it gave him a sense of warmth.**

 *****************************************************************************

Thranduil heard the voice, **his voice**. ‘I swear if valar is just playing some cruel joke it is not funny’ he thought.  Thranduil felt the other staring at him.  He slowly looked up and met the eyes of the source.  A beautiful set of green eyes met his and he had not doubt for a second that it was Bard. 

 

For some reason Thranduil lost control of his legs and they shot up. Oh valar he forgot how much shorter Bard is.  Last time Bard didn’t get to age, he died before life had started.  It was a fair while ago, Thranduil began to think he wasn’t coming back. That the Bowman didn't truly love him.  But here he was, standing there looking dumbfounded at Thranduil.

“Um, sorry, I am Bard; Bard Bowman.  I just moved here.” Bard held out his hand. Thranduil was too shocked to take it.  By the time he wanted to, it was too long so he couldn’t.  All he could manage to do is put his books in a bag and tell him to use a trolley from the convenience store to carry them.

 

Thranduil mentally cursed to himself. ‘WHAT WAS I THINKING?!’ he yelled at nobody in particular. Bard was right in front of him and he couldn’t say anything.  He knew he was going to have to work hard to keep the Bowman in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any feedback about the story so far or any writing tips they'd like to share please do. I would really appreciate it. Thanks again.


	3. Chapter 3: Cut the tension with a knife.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Immortality is one big son of a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! If anyone has any tips or critisism I would appreciate you telling me. Also Bard is bold. ****** is change of pov or time.  
> sorry it is only short.

Chapter 3: Cut the tension with a knife.

The rules of his immortality given to: Thranduil From: The universe

1\. Thranduil must not try to make Bard remember, he must do so by himself

2\. Bard must fall for Thranduil before death in order to come back

a. If this fails to happen Bard will not reincarnate

3\. Thranduil cannot use any source of magic etc. to woo the Bowman

a. If this happens Bard will die and Thranduil must start again

****************************************************************************************

**“Have you managed to go to the bookshop yet?” Bilbo said as Bard walked into the coffee shop. Bilbo could tell that by the look on Bard’s face that it didn’t go as he had hoped. “What happened?” He inquired. Then Bard began to recall the day’s events to Bilbo, and as the story went on Bilbo became more disheartened. “And I offered him my name, and he looked at me as if I were some strange creature! And then couldn’t get me out of the door fast enough.” Bard said resenting the blonde. “Who is he to think he is better than me?” “That’s how he is. He isn’t a ‘people person’, he needs to warm up that’s all”. Bilbo empathised with Bard. When he first met Thranduil, the man wouldn’t even talk, just stare as he chatted on. Bilbo didn’t even know his name or what he sounded like for a month or so after they met.**

**“That doesn’t excuse it.” Bard said curtly. He did not wish to think if that man. Though he was easy on the eyes he seemed too reserved and up himself.**

**“How about I take a break, and introduce you two. He will be more welcoming that way.” He implored. The brunette said nothing but he nodded. ‘For Bilbo’ he thought. One of the shorter man’s employees overheard and called out to him about not having a six hour break; obviously an exaggeration, it had to be.**

**“Thran? You in here, or did you pop out?” Bilbo called as he walked into the shop. The bell chimed, ‘what use is that he pays no attention to it’ Bard thought. Looking at it again Bard saw the beautiful layout of the store. He saw a white door amongst the shelves and assumed it was a supply closet. But out of the door, a beautiful man emerged.**

**Getting a better look at the blonde Bard noticed just how gorgeous he was. The man was tall and rather pale, but had such a strong jaw and beautiful eyes. His hair was silvery blonde and it seemed to flow on forever. The man smiled at Bilbo, obviously not noticing Bard. “Of course Bilbo, where else would I be?” He jested. That smile was so stunning that he was sure he was some otherworldly being. “Oh, sorry I didn’t realise you bought company.” The man apologised and looked sadly at Bard.**

**“Bard, this is Thranduil; Thranduil this is Bard.” Bilbo said, trying to get the ball rolling. Thranduil stood up abruptly and walked behind his counter. Bilbo’s eyes were practically screaming profanity at Thranduil for being anti-social; but when Thranduil returned shortly after his eyes relaxed.**

************************************************************************************************

“Sorry…Bard, but I thought you might want this for your collection.” Thranduil offered the Bowman the book. Bard couldn’t help but notice how he looked like a lost puppy, so sad.

“No, I simply cannot take it.” Bard argued.

“But I insist, take it as an apology for my behaviour this afternoon. I don’t take kindly to strangers.” Thranduil said almost pleadingly. Thranduil hoped that he could mend what he created. Bilbo excused himself to go to the bathroom leaving the two of them alone. “So, what are you here for?” Thranduil asked. Curious of why his Bard had found his way to Dorking.

“For Bilbo.” Bard said coldly. Thranduil didn’t like this side of Bard. If he was honest with himself he would rather the criminal Bard more than this. “I am sorry if I insulted you this afternoon. I just don’t deal with others.” Thranduil pressed, he was growing a bit annoyed. He didn’t understand why he was behaving like this.

“Well you own a bloody book shop!” Bard shot back, not in the mood to talk to some pretentious man who is too beautiful for his own good. “Why is it so hard to talk to people? It’s not like they bite.” He said in a patronizing voice.

“Oh, but. they. do!” the tension in-between his syllables rising considerably. “I cannot talk to people. In my mind I know they are thinking like you. Thinking I am some freak, thinking that I believe I am better than others. But I just can’t. I have reason to be!" He seemed to be growing in size as well as anger. "I have lost everyone in my life, watched myself out-live them. Now don’t you dare patronize me!” He roared. Bard cowered away, Thranduil hated that, but the conversation unearthed all the memories and he couldn’t help himself.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to.” And it truly sounded genuine. But the blonde said nothing in reply. He just sat idly on the chair facing away from Bard. There was obviously tension, not the type that Bilbo wanted but at least it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! If anyone has any tips or critisism I would appreciate you telling me. Also Bard is bold. ****** is change of pov or time.


	4. Back to school blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The bathroom smelled like urine (no surprise there). Bard found his way to the troughs. Thranduil followed, and he fell not so gracefully onto the floor."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold= Bard  
> Normal= Thranduil  
> ***= change of time/ tense   
> Italics= flashback  
> Hello. As per usual I would appreciate if you all had any tips or ideas of what I should do, or even any feedback. This is my first actual fic. Thankyou so much for reading and if you wanted you can follow me on tumblr (fandom-life-damned-me-to-hiatus). Thanks again and have a lovely day/night

_“Mr Clarke, pleasure to meet you.” Thranduil held out his hand to shake the hand of the man behind the desk.  “I am Thranduil, the new teacher.” Thranduil wanted to try teaching, it seemed like an important job and highly entertaining. Also Bard was a senior student at the school.  (Though Thranduil was confused because Bard was old enough not to be in school). But he didn’t usually question the universe because; the universe doesn’t like when Thranduil is happy or when he asks questions._

_“Nice to meet you too Mr Orpherion; to be quite honest with you, I have never heard quite a name as yours. Is it foreign?” The man asked with his finger-tips touching and his eyes wide._

_“No, it is just quite old.  Older than the modern age some say.” Thranduil couldn’t help but smirk at his own inside joke._

_Thranduil had got the job at a ‘state of the art’ private school.  The students wore navy blue blazers and grey dress pants with straw hats.  He had to say he was rather pleased with the choice of blue as the school colour because Thranduil loved Bard in blue.  It was very flattering on his lover and he remembered buying Bard blue clothing all the time.  He was the new biology teacher and he had to say it was so fucking hard.  ‘I thought they would at least know something’ he thought. But then he had his lesson with Bard.  That made the days much better._

 

_He used to spend his days staring at how gorgeous Bard was.  Yeah, it was stalkerish but he knew Bard knew, and he didn't care.  But one day Bard had his hair out and Thranduil could'nt look away.  But the thing was is Bard looked right back at him.  Eyes not looking away from the blonde for a second.  The whole entire class Thranduil couldn't stand up in fear of getting called a pervert._

 

_Class had ended and every student except Bard had cleared out.  This made Thranduil nervous._

_“Excuse me, Mr Orpherion?” Bard questioned as he approached his teacher.  Biting his lip and being so utterly naïve of his utterly irresistible appearance. “I was wondering if you could help me with something.” Bard said sweetly._

_“Sure Mr Bowman. What is it you would like help with?” Thranduil couldn’t help but notice how close the younger one had gotten. A little too close for the PTA’s liking he was sure.  Bard smelt like wood polish, a very humorous innuendo for his current situation._

_“Well you see sir; I couldn’t help but notice that you stare at me a lot. And that has leaded me to believe that you are a bit attracted to me.” Bard paused; he walked behind Thranduil’s chair and got really close to his ear.  His pants were getting terribly tight.  “I could help you with that little problem if you’d like… Mr Orpherion.” Bard drawled out letting each syllable out slowly and quietly.  Thranduil hadn’t seen that side of Bard before, and had to admit he liked it._

* * *

**School bells are so dreadfully startling.  Bard had gotten to school early, so excited for the first day back.  For some reason he has always loved school, that would explain why he wasn’t so popular in school.**

**Class was starting and Bard watched happily as his students filed in and dispersed themselves throughout the room.  He taught the third grade and that’s how he liked it.  His logic was that usually after the third grade kids started hating their teachers and not liking class so he tend to stick with the young kids.  “Good morning class. I am your new teacher for this year, Mr Bowman.”  Bard smiled at all the chubby faces.** __

_**_ **_*************************************************************************************************************************************************_ **

**Bard finally got home and was craving some energy.  He was exhausted.  The day went pretty well for Bard and his students seemed to love him.  Particularly this little girl named Tauriel; she had declared that they were going to be married.  He loved when he got to read to them, he had an excuse to do voices when he read to them. But people would stare if it was any other situation.**

**At around 4 o’clock he decided coffee was a necessity.   He happily made his way down to Bilbo’s shop because the small man said to when he got off work.  The streets were lovely in this time of day Bard decided.  The crisp gold of the sunset added a lovely effect to the buildings and made them seem more like a town from the pages of his books.**

**The coffee shop was deserted and Bilbo was nowhere in sight.  Curious of where his friend could be he glanced into the shop next door, only to see Bilbo conversing with the ‘Insufferable Thranduil’.** _**How Bilbo could manage to converse with, let alone like the man was beyond him.** _ **Despite his disposition towards the book-keeper he ventured in.**

**“Bilbo? You in here?” Bard inquired, already knowing the answer.  The two men turned around to greet him. Thranduil seemed warmer than their last interaction, even managing to smile.  Bard felt a pang of guilt as he recalled what he said to the blonde beauty.  He wandered how he could have lost all his family and friends, he wanted to help him with the pain.**

* * *

 

The day was unbearably slow.   School was back on so all he had been old people who were ‘just browsing’. Thranduil is all for that but not when they read half the book, and quite obviously write where they were up to, and leave. 

 

But every hour or so Bilbo would relieve the pain.  Bilbo kept pressing on the events of last night but Thranduil would side-step the subject.  He actually managed to avoid all things ‘Bard’ until later in the day.  It turns out that Bilbo had heard of the proceedings between the two but didn’t want to seem nosy.

 

“You said you had lost everyone.” Bilbo said suddenly.  Thranduil peered up from his book for a moment, opening his mouth to say something but deciding against it.  The lapse in conversation was picked up by Bilbo, “Not everyone thinks you are a snooty bastard you know.” Bilbo mused. 

“And everyone thinks the sky is pink.  Come on Bilbo of course they do.  I am the spawn of Boo Radley and Paris Hilton.” Thranduil shot back playfully.  It was moments like this that made him stop envying the dead.  Just being with his friend 

 

Bilbo was small, sure but he was in no way unimportant.  Thranduil wouldn’t know what he would do with himself if he didn’t have Bilbo.  But it pained him to know that he will have to leave him and not return.  He hated the running, _why should I have to go and leave my life behind?_   He often thought.

 

Thranduil was looking out the window into the busy street and noticed Bard.  A smile grew on his face.  As much as this Bard had gotten on his nerves and unearthed the darkness, he couldn’t help but smile, he was still Bard, and not even the age of time can change that.  He saw the brunette opening the door and he darted his eyes in the opposite direction.  ,

* * *

 

**“Hello Bilbo” Bard nodded “Thranduil.” Bard’s guilt twisted his gut in every direction. He didn’t even know the man, let alone like him; but he was so unbelievably upset that he made the blonde upset.  Thranduil eyes were barrelling into Bards and the breath was slowly seeping out of his lungs.  For an asshole he sure was gorgeous.  All he wants is to climb on the blonde and just squeeze forever.** _**God he is so tall, damn, look at those legs.** _ **** **Bard’s mind just started to drift into a land of promiscuity when he snapped himself out of it, not wanting to have an awkward encounter with the two men who stood in front of him.**

**“Hello Bard. Come, sit, Thran and I were just discussing my new boyfriend.” Bilbo said joyfully.  Bard peered over at the blonde and couldn’t help but notice the boredom that was draped across his face.  He sat on the couch with Bilbo across from Thranduil and listened to Bilbo yammer on about ‘Thorin’.  From what he gathered of the conversation ‘Thorin’ was just taller than Bilbo.  Which is astonishing because Bilbo is so small it is ‘like destiny that they should have found each other’ to put it into Bilbo’s words.**

**“Bard please come with me to see him tomorrow night?” Thranduil sat up, clearly wanting to protest something but didn’t say a word.  “He is preforming tomorrow and I thought that you might enjoy it. It’ll be a riot.” Bilbo pushed, trying to pressure him into doing so.**

**“Preform?” Bard asked, praying it wasn’t something like opera.**

**“Weren’t you listening? I told you he is an exotic dancer.” Bilbo said, slightly frustrated.** _**Oh god, no not a strip club** _ **. “You were listening weren’t you Thran?” Thranduil had a glazed look on his face and obviously had no clue what was going on either.**

**“Pardon?” He blurted out. Lifting his elbow of the arm of the couch and straightening up.**

**“Oh my God! Does no one ever listen to me? You know what, I should stop repeating myself and write it down and you will have to wait until I am dead to hear what I say.” The small man began to rant and proclaimed his word to be equivalent in worth to gold.** _**Bilbo is rather amusing when he gets annoyed.** _

**“Sorry Bilbo I didn’t realise that you were God and we have to live off your very word in order to function.  I will keep that in mind.” Thranduil said, his voice riddled with sarcasm and wicked smirk growing on his face.  However, Bilbo did not find his response amusing, which resulted in him getting more upset and continuing his rant.  Thranduil looked at Bard and smiled and Bard joined; but trying to hide their faces whenever Bilbo would look in their direction.**

* * *

 

Tying his tie was always ‘odious work’ Thranduil often said.  He never understood why it was even a thing.  Its construction was a lot like a noose.  He knows.  But Thranduil likes how it adds a certain elegance to his ensemble, ties were very him.  But tonight he just wanted to wear his robe and waltz around the shop eating Nutella from a spoon and singing YMCA.  (A guilty pleasure of his). 

 

But no, he promised Bilbo he would go out with him. But the small man neglected to tell him the sort of outing and whom it may involve.  Never in a million years would he go to a strip club, let alone with Bard.  Once in his life he went to one when he stalked Bard into one and found out Bard was a stripper. _But that was another lifetime_. There was a knocking at the door and Thranduil groaned because he knew that it was Bilbo. 

“Thranduil! I know you’re in there! I know that for a fact because you barely ever leave.” Bilbo called from the street.  To an unknowing stranger you would think Bilbo was drunk, but no, that was his personality.  The knocking continued and Thranduil decided that he may as well. After all, he had keys.

 

He made his way down the stairs and begrudgingly made his way across the store towards the raucous.  Bilbo was beaming and practically jumping out of his skin with excitement.  The two friends made their way to Bards home.  Thranduil hadn’t seen it and didn’t have any clue whereabouts it was.  So as per usual Bilbo Baggins lead the way.

 

Bard lived in a small house, but it was a Bard house; it was modest and not extravagant, very plain.  It had a small garden with lilies growing near the entrance.  Lilies had always been Bards favourite flower.  The brunette was sitting waiting on his front stairs reading a book.  Thranduil noticed that it was his book, the one he gave to him.  That made him smile, his Bard was in there amongst the stubborn little twit that he was now.  He looked up and placed the book in his bag and greeted them both.

 

There was a long period of silence and the three walked to their destination; Bilbo obviously leading the way.  They arrived to a very flamboyant looking club.  It was rather obnoxious actually.  The building made it very obvious that it was a strip club; it even had a light up sign on the roof saying ‘feeling horny?’  That alone would send Thranduil running but it was a promise to his friend and his word is final.  The interior wasn’t much better, though the dancing men weren’t that bad. _Thank Valar that there is alcohol!_ Thranduil wouldn’t last the night without it.

 

“Fancy a drink Thranduil?” Bard said, obviously thinking the same as Thranduil.  He nodded and they both made their way to the bar forgetting their friend.  “What do you want blondie? Can you hold your liquor?” Bard challenged; foolishly thinking that he could beat the immortal before him.

“I don’t know, how about we have a bet?” Thranduil said, he was hustling, sure, but he wanted to wipe the smirk of Bard’s face. 

“Right, how about the first to pass out or throw up loses.” Bard smirked, thinking he would win “And, loser has to buy the other dinner and pay for the alcohol.” Obviously happy with himself and confident in his abilities, he held out his hand for Thranduil to shake it.

“You sure on the terms?” Thranduil offered the Bowman one last chance, but he nodded, “Then let the games begin.”  They both grabbed their first drink, Bard cockily chugged it.

 

“Taking it slow are you grandpa?” Bard mocked.  Just then the lights dimmed in preparation for the show to start.  Bilbo found his way back and sat next to Bard.  “Guess what Bilbo, I bet Thranduil that I can handle my liquor better than him. And I am going to win.”  Bilbo’s jaw dropped.

“You didn’t, did you really?” Bilbo squealed. Thranduil finished his drink and signalled for another round.  Bard was a bit taken aback by Bilbo’s reaction.

“Why? What’s wrong? You think Thranduil can handle his liquor? He is a classic light-weight.” Bard inquired.  Bilbo just shook his head; he could not believe that Thranduil had reeled in another unsuspecting victim.  

“Nothing, don’t worry. I am sure it’ll be a close match.” Bilbo looked over at Thranduil giving a knowing look.  He was so happy they were getting along, instead of burning the club down.

* * *

 

**Bard had lost count of the amount of drinks he had consumed.  But all he knew was Thranduil didn’t even look a slight bit tipsy.**

**“How on god’s green earth is this possible?” Bard slurred.  Bilbo was giggling and sipping on his drink that was pink and had a twisty straw.  Thranduil downed his drink, and laughed.  It made Bard shudder, it was one of those laughs that were so intoxicating (no pun intended).**

**“Do you surrender Bowman?” Thranduil said coyly. Raising a single eyebrow.** _**God those eyebrows!** _

**“No I do not. In fact, if you’re so cocky, why don’t we switch to harder liquor?” Bard said, he thought it was clear and concise but the other two people at the table would say otherwise**

* * *

 

Thranduil wanted to snap-shot this moment in time.  The sight before him was certainly one to behold.  Bard was drunk; there was no doubt about it.  He even had to admit a couple more drinks and he won’t be able to compose himself. _How has Bard lasted this long?_ He thought.   Especially when Bard decided to move on to harder stuff, he had no clue how any of them were going to get home.  They were so consumed in their game that they had not even been watching the debauchery that was parading up on stage. Bilbo, however, was all for it; only looking back to his friends between songs.

 

Another round of drinks was bought over and the bartender even gave a bowl of pretzels.  The alcohol didn’t even burn anymore, after a forever of drinking it was like drinking a glass of water.  But he knew he was feeling the alcohol.  He downed his glass, and at this moment he knew he had entered into the early stages of drunkenness.  Bard was giggling and trying to lick the drink from the glass like a cat, even making a meow noise on occasion.  He downed another glass like it was nothing.  But it hit like a brick wall.  Bard and Thranduil were a pair of drunk idiots. 

“I need bathroom, I will be a pissy cat if I wet myself.” Bard slurred in the language of drunk (which Thranduil could speak fluently).  They made jokes that only a drunk could laugh at.  Thranduil decided he wanted to join Bard, in case he throws up he said to himself, though he just wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt himself.

 

The bathroom smelled like urine (no surprise there).  Bard found his way to the troughs.  Thranduil followed, and he fell not so gracefully onto the floor. 

“Ahh Fuck me!” Thranduil yelled to the roof.  The room went silent; Thranduil thought he dreamt it all for a second, that he was at home on his bed. But no, he was indeed on the bathroom floor.

“Okay.” Bard said as he leant down to start kissing Thranduil’s neck.

 

What started off as soft and slow kissing seemed to be becoming more and more urgent each time Bard’s lips touched his skin.  Thranduil reached up and grabbed the Bowmans head and pressed his lip against Bard.  Thranduil fell into stupor.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. As per usual I would appreciate if you all had any tips or ideas of what I should do, or even any feedback. This is my first actual fic. Thankyou so much for reading and if you wanted you can follow me on tumblr (fandom-life-damned-me-to-hiatus). Thanks again and have a lovely day/night


	5. Spatula Orchestra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun beamed in through the un-closed curtains and Thranduil hissed, literally hissed at the sun. For valar sake why the fuck does there need to be a sun? Thranduil thought. Then it dawned on him… he was hungover. This hadn’t occurred for him in about 500 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Just a quick note:  
> Bard is bold text and Thranduil is normal and the ********* is change of p.o.v and the ------- is change of time.  
> If anyone has questions feel free to ask me. Or even if you have any tips or criticism I am happy to hear it I would really appreciate it (cause it is my first fic and I have no clue what I am doing).
> 
> Have a lovely day/night!

The sun beamed in through the un-closed curtains and Thranduil hissed, literally hissed at the sun. _For valar sake why the fuck does there need to be a sun?_   Thranduil thought.  Then it dawned on him… he was hungover.  This hadn’t occurred for him in about 500 years. 

 All was silent and the world seemed unmoving.  There was no sign of life outside and all he could hear was the thuds of his own heart beat screaming in his head.  But the blonde heard a very loud creak on his floorboards.  Eyes darting to the other side of the room his eyes latched upon a naked man; Bard to be exact.

 “Fuck.” Bard whispered and one of his legs were in his pants. _Don’t put them back on_ Thranduil thought. Thranduil was in complete and utter joy when he realised what was happening.  Thranduil wanted to jump for joy, he wanted Bard to stay. _Was the curse broken?_   But if Bard remembered him he wouldn’t be leaving.  This was going to be complicated.

 **********************************************************************************

**The clock said 6 am and Bard’s head was surprisingly not as bad as he would have thought.  His eyes adjusted to the light and he froze. _This is not my home_ , Bard thought.  He looked around and saw some leggy blonde next to him.  Not bothering to see who it was he just laid there.  Such a pretty woman deserved to be treated better.  **

**Bard fell into a deep sleep and dreamt of the ‘Beautiful Bastard’, he was having such a pleasant sleep until he was rudely awoken by someone kicking him.**

**His eyes snapped open and he got a better look of the room.  It was most certainly not his room.  He was in fact without clothes and has no covers on him.  The blonde had hoarded all the covers and looked like a hairy slug.  It was now about 9 am according to the clock and the sun was higher in the sky.  The sun was streaming in the window and was highlighting the blonde haired lady’s features. _Who was it?_ Bard was asking himself.  He crawled around the bed to get a better look.  The face was somewhat familiar, covered by the overly fluffy duvet cover.  The big luscious eyebrows peeking over the covers; _Oh fucking hell_ Bard cursed _._   “Thranduil?!” He whispered so loudly it was overly audible.  **

**Bard flew over to the other side of the bed scrambling to find his clothes.  Unfortunately his underpants were nowhere to be seen.  Deciding to forget about them Bard found his way to his pants letting out a massive creak from the floorboards.  The room grew quiet; there were no more faint snores from Thranduil’s direction.  Starting to slightly panic Bard rushed putting his pants on.**

 

* * *

_“Where do you think you are going my King?” Thranduil called from the bed, hand reaching out after Bard, as if he had the power to control his husband._

_“Well, Thran, if you haven’t noticed it is nearly mid-day. And I am absolutely starving.” Bard called from the bathroom.  Thranduil could hear Bard humming; the brunette crossed the room again and grabbed the radio.  After momentary silence the song ‘YMCA’ by the village people came blaring from behind the door, followed by Bard singing (more like shouting) the lyrics at the top of his lungs._

It was perfect.  But that was another lifetime.

* * *

**Thranduil cleared his throat, _Shit he is awake_.**

**“What Bard, no good morning?”  Thranduil mused, clearly enjoying seeing Bard bumbling around like an idiot.  Bard turned slowly to meet his fate.  There he was, the smug bastard was just sitting there staring at him.**

**“We didn’t,” Bard made various hand gestures trying to avoid stating the obvious, “Did we?”  He could feel his face burning up and the embarrassment overwhelming him.**

**“No Bard, I assure you wouldn’t be walking with such ease if something did happen.” Thranduil deadpanned. _What a little shit, this is a serious matter!_ **

**“Well this is awkward for you.” Thranduil rasped a grin taking over his face.  God, bard was growing weak at the knees.**

**“Uh, I should probably go. Thank you, um I mean bye.” Bard struggled to get the words out.  He was relieved that they didn’t, but if he was completely honest with himself he was really disappointed.  Because even if Thranduil was such a self-entitled ass; he would be somewhat fearsome to behold.  He looked so threatening, but otherworldly in beauty.**

* * *

**The street was quieter than Bard would have thought.  He could hear Bilbo chattering away with customers in the coffee shop next door.  A massive waft of coffee beans came into contact with his nose.  Without realising what he was doing he found his body making its way over to the counter.  Bilbo snapped his head to look at Bard.**

**“Morning Bard, same shirt today?” Bilbo sad brazenly lifting a mug to his lips.  Bilbo’s eyes were screaming for details.**

**“I had a wash last night when I got home.” _Crisis avoided_! But Bilbo wasn’t having it.**

**“Don’t bullshit me Bowman.  I saw you and Thranduil getting cosy last night.  He was limping out of the bathroom. Rather public place to do it the first time, but that’s none of my business..” Bilbo said sipping at his coffee.  If only Bilbo were green he would be a spitting image of the Kermit the frog meme.**

**“What? What on earth are you yammering on about Bilbo?” Bard was so red that he could have a lobster beat.**

**“To be perfectly honest I thought Thranduil would be the one taking the reins.  But you never know with these types of things.” It was as if Bilbo had totally forgotten that he had customers to serve.  “I have his number if you want it. Maybe buy him dinner this time.” Bilbo chuckled; he really was having too much fun with this.**

**And without warning Bilbo reached into Bard’s pocket and stole his phone.  Fingers moving as fast as quick-silver Bard had a new contact.  ‘Thran McLeggy’, Bard couldn’t help but laugh at that (at least he thought it was a joke).  Looking through his contacts Bard also noticed the change in Bilbo’s contact name to ‘Bae supreme’. _How is there be so much flamboyancy from such a tiny man?_ Bard often thought.**

 ******************************************************************

*New text from unknown number* **“Hi Thranduil, Bilbo gave me your number. So you can save mine I guess. If you want of course (no pressure)”**

“What a little cutie.” Thranduil said to his room of many friends.  He saved Bard under ‘Death of me’.  Though that wasn’t true because he will never die, but every single time the Bowman died he felt as if he did too.  He debated whether he should reply.  He decided against it, not wanting to seem too eager.

 

Thranduil would never tell anyone (not that he had anyone to tell), but he has Bard’s other numbers.  In those years without Bard he got so sad he would try to ring him, leaving countless voice messages for him to come back.

 

* * *

 

It had been a couple of months since the bar incident and Thranduil and Bard had become quite good friends.  Bilbo even called them all a ‘squad’ and would make them sleep over at his house.  Though lately the small man had been absent from their hang-out sessions rather spending his time with ‘Thorin’.  Thranduil had decided he wasn’t too fussed about this so called ‘Thorin’ because he stole Bilbo (in his opinion).  Though Bard was always nice when Bilbo would talk about him and was rather involved with the relationship.  Thranduil even resented that, Bard was his, why does he have to be so nice?

 

It was about 6 pm and Bard was destined to be over in a half an hour for a movie night.  Thranduil always said he would cook and get the food, but Bard never trusted that Thranduil could cook. ‘I don’t want salmonella’ He would always say.  Even in other lives Bard would cook, so he never bothered really.  Bard said he was bringing the movies this time and said that it is a ‘modern-day classic’.  

“Thran! I am here! I bought Nutella!” Bard called from downstairs in the store.  Bard had become more comfortable waltzing around the place and inviting himself in.  There was a marching up the stairs and then a big thud on the couch.  That was the definite sign that he was in the room.  The brunette would tend to make the loudest noises whenever he got comfortable places.

“So Bowman what did you bring me?” Thranduil inquired ready to have to watch some stupid movie.

“I am absolutely hurt. Are you using me for my movies!? And here I thought you enjoyed my company.” Bard faked being offended. This type of banter was there usual interactions and the basis of their friendship.  It really turned Thranduil on; having someone that has the guts to be an asshole to you (within reason) is so refreshing.  He had his limits though.

“Shut your mouth Bard. Give me the goods.” He held out his hand as if they were about to be chopped off.  In that moment he wished he hadn’t.  The DVD case of ‘Mean Girls’ was placed in his hands.  ‘ _No way. Nope NOPE no way in this life am I going to’_ Thranduil shrieked internally. 

 

“Really?” Thranduil would never have pegged this Bard as a chick-flick lover.  All Thranduil received in return to his question was Bard’s intoxicating smile and him running to the kitchen to gather supplies.  Knowing he would never win this battle, he put the disc into the tray and loaded it.  It didn’t look entirely stupid.  Thranduil decided to get comfortable.  “Bring me the snacks slave!” Thranduil called (more like demanded).

 

“So impatient…  You will relate a lot to one of the characters in this movie.” Bard said as he sat next to Thranduil eating a malteser.  He snatched the remote and pressed play, _Bring on the 97 minutes of waste_ Thranduil thought cynically.  “Hey Thran, this movie was made in 2004! Feels like forever ago doesn’t it?” Bard said quietly.  He was watching Thranduil watch the movie.  Bard did that often and would always say ‘So I can see your reactions’.  Which would always warrant the reply ‘But then I know that something big is about to happen’.   

 

Bard all throughout the movie would mouth the words along with the characters.  It was a sight to behold.  Thranduil loved Bard so much, if only he remembered.  They could spend the rest of their lives together, he would know for certain Bard would come back.

“Do you like it?” Bard said diving on Thranduil.

“It is so fetch!” Thranduil said trying to mimic Gretchen Wieners. Bard’s smile only grew.  He made demonic noises and said something that was too illegible to understand. 

 “You are so Regina George.” Bard said out-of-the-blue.

“I am most certainly not! I am Damion.” Thranduil shot back.

 

 *******************************************************************************************************

**He looked at all the food the two of them demolished.  It looked like a war zone; bits of Nutella trickled over the coffee table and even smudged into his eyebrow.  Half way through the movie Thranduil ‘invented’ the concoction of Doritos and Nutella; which became an automatic favourite of the Bowman.**

**The movie had ended and Thranduil was now tangled up on Bard.  Sleeping like an incredibly annoying baby. _Should I stay? Should I leave?_ Bard was not sure of what to do.  Thranduil was too long to sleep on the couch so Bard decided to attempt moving him onto the bed.  However, Thranduil is heavier than he looks.**

**With a lot of struggle Bard managed to move Thranduil to the safety of his bed.  Bard marvelled how deep a sleeper Thranduil is.  But unfortunately he forgot there was a creak.  Thranduil awoke slightly.**

**“Stay” was all he said, but Bard wasn’t going to argue.**

**“Where will I sleep?” Bard asked.  Assuming he would sleep on the couch (considering he is a normal human size).  Though, Thranduil flailed his arm next to him, signalling his want for Bard to sleep on the bed.  Bard hesitated but ended up giving in. _This time, I shall be wearing clothing_ , Bard decided.**

 

* * *

 

“Well ah talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it” Came a sing-song voice from outside his door.  _Funky Town?_ Thranduil thought, that song was his and Bard’s favourite at one point.  Following the sound of music and the smell of eggs Thranduil found his way out to the living area. 

“Morning Thran!” Bard called over the music.  The Bowman’s hair was in a bun and he was using the spatula as a microphone and drumstick. He moved the spatula as if he were conducting an orchestra.  “You are such a heavy sleeper Thran, probably would be able to sleep through a war.” Bard said, trying to make small talk. But little did he know that Thranduil had lived through every single one, you become a heavy sleeper when you have to live through an endless supply of wars.

“You didn’t have to make me breakfast Bard, I could’ve made you something.” Thranduil apologized, feeling like a horrible host. 

“Don’t be daft, do I look like I want food poisoning?”  Bard said bopping to the beat of the new song. Bard continued his one man show for a while until he was feeling as is his talent needed a supporting act. "Thran, take this and play the beat." Bard asked, handing Thranduil the wooden spoon and a mixing bowl. The madness continued for so long that the result of the Band was 4 things

1\. Pots and Pans for their band uniform

2\. Bilbo is the roadie and manager, Bard is the main singer, and Thranduil is the drummer

3\. They are seriously considering on taking it 'global'

4\. The eggs were completely burnt.  

 

If you didn’t know any better you would think that they were a married couple.

 

* * *

 

_It was the middle of the night; both Bard and Thranduil had been fast asleep.  Thranduil awoke to Bard shaking him.  Thranduil was about ready to go into the bomb shelter thinking Bard woke him because of a raid.  “Thranduil! My love, I- I remember.” Bard said.  Thranduil didn’t quite register what Bard had just said._

_“What?” He yawned, sitting up in the bed._

_“I remember everything.” He choked out, tears flowing down his face.  He remembered his lost children and how much life had changed.  Though, the last time Bard had been around Legolas was too._

_“Where is Legolas?” Bard asked.  Thranduil didn’t have the heart.  He could not bear to disappoint his husband.  “I know you would have to hide him from me, but I know now. Take me to him.” Bard said, but each word he said he saw Thranduil, and it became more and more clear._

_“I am so sorry Bard.” Thranduil said, hardly keeping himself together.  He lost his Legolas; he lost Sigrid, Bain, and Tilda, and is constantly losing Bard.  It was enough to send him into blubbering mess._

_“It is okay my love.  We have each other.”  Bard hugged Thranduil, not letting go for a long time.  “No parent should have to bury their child.” He said, only just audibly._

That lifetime was one of the hardest, and the shortest.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Just a quick note:  
> Bard is bold text and Thranduil is normal and the ********* is change of p.o.v and the ------- is change of time.  
> If anyone has questions feel free to ask me. Or even if you have any tips or criticism I am happy to hear it I would really appreciate it (cause it is my first fic and I have no clue what I am doing).
> 
> Have a lovely day/night! 
> 
> p.s. feel free to add me on tumblr (my tumblr is fandom-life-damned-me-to-hiatus)  
> also I am sorry this is a sucky chapter. Please forgive me.


	6. Dinner Outings and damn that Deja Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dickhead,” Bard said, but by now it was more of a term of endearment than an insult (it was meant to be an insulting slur but Bard was sure he was called a ‘dickhead’ more than once in his life).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I am so sorry I have not updated in a while. I have been so busy I had no time to write and I just remembered yesterday that I was writing a story.  
> Sorry again. But I hope you all are having a nice day/night
> 
> ************= change of time  
> \---------- = Change of pov  
> Bold= Bard  
> normal= Thranduil  
> italics= recollections or thoughts.

**The three men (Bilbo, Thranduil and Bard) were on their way to meet ‘Thorin Oakenshield’.  Every mention of the name would earn a scowl from Thranduil. _It was so hot_. Bard would think, he often wandered what was going on and couldn’t understand why on earth he would want to jump the man just for tying up his hair.  Bilbo would notice when Bard was staring at Thranduil; he would just grin and make inappropriate gestures and suggestions; which would make Bard bright red and confuse the blonde beauty.  **

**“So where are we meeting Thorin again?” Bard asked politely.  Thranduil’s eyes were permanently rolled and his bastard rating was growing by the minute.  Bard could slightly remember (at least he thought) what ‘Thorin’ looked like. _He is short I am pretty sure_ , was the only illegible piece of information he could remember.  **

**“At Frenchies.  You know the place that has the really good curry?” Bilbo said, as it is completely ordinary name for that type of cuisine.  “Well Thorin adores it; it’s close to his work.” Bilbo smiled, thinking about his boyfriend.**

**“Of course he does.  Are we there yet? I want to get this night done with.”  Thranduil groaned, being a completely insufferable person again.  They arrived at the restaurant and Bilbo said he saw Thorin.  Thranduil made a gagging gesture when Bilbo ran in jumping excitedly.**

**Bard shoved Thranduil to the wall with surprising force.**

**“Can you fucking not? Bilbo is our friend and he is happy. So _we_ should be happy!”   The scene in Bard’s head seemed rather threatening but it mustn’t have been because Thranduil was barely able to contain himself.  **

**“I need air; please Bard-” Thranduil clutched his heart jokingly “you are _SO_ terrifying. My heart can’t take it.”  The brunette ruffled the blondes ‘precious locks’, which earnt a soft gasp.**

**“Dickhead,” Bard said, but by now it was more of a term of endearment than an insult (it was meant to be an insulting slur but Bard was sure he was called a ‘dickhead’ more than once in his life).**

********************************************************************************************

**“Thranduil, this is Thorin. Thorin, Thranduil.”  It was a stare-down, but it had the effect of an old cowboy movie... people moved away for safety.  Thranduil was sure he wouldn’t be the one to concede, but a harsh look from the Bowman snapped him out of it.  Thranduil held out his hand (in solidarity).  Thorin had an almost disgusted look on his face, almost to say ‘why would I even touch him’.  Upon Thorin’s refusal to take his hand, Thranduil retrieved his hand and prepared himself for a ‘battle’.  His shoulders tensed and his face became expressionless (which made him more threatening; he looked so calm yet wrathful).**

**“Let’s eat,” Bilbo suggested, obviously picking up on the pissing match occurring between Thorin and Thranduil.**

**The four sat down in uncomfortable silence reading their menus but Bard could see Thranduil shooting daggers at Bilbo’s partner from over the top of his menu.  Bard muttered under his breath about how stupid he was being, Thranduil nudged Bard with his knee.**

* * *

“So Thorin, what do you do for a living?” Thranduil said with a tone of superiority radiating out of his throat.  Both Bard and Bilbo looked surprised on Thranduil initiating an interaction between the two, but they had not picked up on the condescending undertone behind his words.

“Well, I am sure that I have a far more interesting life than you… what is your name again?”

“Thranduil, and please, enlighten me why you have come to the conclusion that you have a ‘more interesting life?” It was getting rather ridiculous, Thranduil didn’t even know why he loathed the man that sat across from him, but it was most certainly a feeling of contempt.  Thranduil could feel Bards pleads for him to shut up and try being pleasant. 

 

There was no way Thranduil would bother  showing ‘Thorin’ an ounce of respect especially the fact that the douche in front of him obviously had ‘little-big-man’ syndrome.  ‘ _What an egotistical bastard’_ kept on thinking whenever Thorin would open his mouth.  At the moment Thorin was going on about his life and how lovely it was. And yammering on about valar knows what. 

 

Thranduil only picked at his meal and stayed completely silent the rest of the night, but he enjoyed listening to Bard talk.  Bard told the group about his students and how one of the children in his classes looked like a small Thranduil.  The blonde tossed up whether or not he should inquire, he didn’t. 

The night was _finally_ over and Thranduil (and quite surprisingly the Bowman), were yearning to leave.  They said their goodbyes and Bilbo left with Thorin. 

“What a prick.  Like really what an absolute asshole!” Bard said once they were a safe distance away from the restaurant.  Thranduil chuckled; it reminded him of ranting Bard.  It was little mannerisms like his rants that caught the Elven-Kings eye in the first place.  Yeah, Bard is too gorgeous for his own good, but it was more than just the superficial stuff that made Thranduil all giddy, but the fact that Bard was not afraid of him.

“Thran? You in there?” Bard said jumping in front of him. 

“Uh, yeah sorry I was just a little-”

“Caught in your head.” They walked for a while in silence, not bad silence, but the good stuff.

* * *

**Thranduil had much longer legs than Bard, which fortunately for Bard meant that the Blonde-beauty was in front a majority of the time.  He felt like such a perve but let’s be real Thranduil’s ass is crafted by the gods. _What am I thinking? For all I know he doesn’t even like me_.  **

**“Hey Thran?” The Bowman had no idea where he was going with this but it was too late now.  The blonde didn’t reply but only gave a look and turned to face him. _UGH I JUST WANT TO KISS THAT STUPID LOOK OFF OF HIS STUPID FACE!_ He screamed internally.**

**“Well, I was just curious, but- uh- are you- you know, a… well do you like-” A smug grin was devouring Thranduil’s face, it made Bard’s soul melt into a puddle.**

**“What do you mean Bard?” Thranduil teased. Bard went to say it again but thankfully the other man cut him off.  “To answer your question I guess.  But my question is why do you ask?” Without notice Thranduil stopped suddenly.**

**“What are you doing?” His voice went hoarse.**

**“I am sorry to break it to you but I live here.” Thranduil was opening his door but paused momentarily, “Do you want a cup of coffee or something?”**

**“Sure” Bard was rocking from his heels to his toes “Sounds lovely.  Also, do you have ‘The Picture of Dorian Grey’ in stock at the moment? I couldn’t find it the other day." The pair walked into the store "Have you read it? It is good, you'd like it."**

* * *

_“Oh honey I am home!” Thranduil called trying to signal his family.  He heard footsteps bellowing down the upstairs corridor.  Bard emerged and came tumbling down the stairs._

_“I missed you!” The brunette kissed into the blonde’s neck._

_“Careful my love, windows are dangerous.” Thranduil said guiding his husband away from persecuting eyes.  It always hurt him that large portions of society were so bigoted.  “How was your day my sunshine?” As much as the outside world made him loathe his existence, whenever he came home he couldn’t help but smile._

_“Well I just pottered around; nothing too exciting, though I just finished reading another book.”_

_“Truly? Which one?” Thranduil said settling down onto the couch._

_“The picture of Dorian Grey. You know the one by Oscar Wilde?” Bard called from the kitchen. He fell asleep._

 

_"I love you Bard, you know that?" Thranduil called out. But there was no reply.  He got up and walked into the kitchen, looking for his husband. The sight before him made him weep._

_The doors were open and glass was smashed and his husband lie there un-moving on the floor._

_Thranduil can still swear he saw a set of eyes staring through the window at him._

**_But that was another lifetime.._ **

* * *

 

(Thranduil always kept Bard’s books. In fact they're his most prized possessions.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. If you have any ideas/criticism etc I am happy to hear it.  
> I have tumblr if you wish to follow me there.  
> Any questions I am happy to answer.


	7. *Update*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an update sorry

Hi people who are reading this. I am in the middle of writing another chapter but I was wandering if anyone has ideas? Also if people are interested if I wrote an Narnia-ish type barduil au?


	8. Hootie and his Blowfish are a very bad influence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I nlee wanna be wit yo-oooooo” Bilbo and Bard sung at the top of their lungs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I am so sorry this is a short chapter.  
> I have an idea that i can write shorter chapters and update more frequently. Is that okay?
> 
> Sorry again. But I hope you all are having a nice day/night
> 
> ************= change of time  
> \---------- = Change of pov  
> Bold= Bard  
> normal= Thranduil  
> italics= recollections or thoughts.

**“UGH!” Bard said closing the door to the coffee shop behind him.**

**“Not a good day hun?” Bilbo said empathetically. Automatically (as if it was a natural reflex), Bilbo started making a coffee for Bard.**

**“No, definitely not.  You would think that dealing with children all day would be harder, but-” He took a massive swig of his cup, making a little foam-stache. “No, I have to deal with psycho parents and mothers hitting on me.” Bard grimaced at the thought. “This one mother actually grabbed my butt and basically swallowed my face.”**

**Bilbo tutted and went into the ‘staff quarters’ momentarily; leaving Bard stewing in his horrible experiences.  The audaciously pink ‘Bag End Café’ sign gave him flashes of the woman’s magenta power-suit.  His short friend emerged with a brown liquid and chuckled evilly as he poured a large amount into Bard’s cup.**

**All Bard could do is stare at the copious amount of liquor being poured into his coffee.**

**“What? It’s Irish.” He shot a wicked grin to the Bowman.**

**It’s safe to say that they had many Irish coffee’s, which eventually became more Irish and less coffee.**

* * *

 

“I am sorry Mr Greenleaf, time escaped me.” The old woman said as she tiptoed over to the counter, preparing herself for Thranduil’s scornful gaze.  _This is what I get for having flexible hours_ He thought to himself. 

“No need to worry… as long as it does not happen again.” The Elven King said with an ice cool tone. But inside Thranduil was just living for his ferocity, he loved pulling out his old King authoritarian attitude.  Bard used to say he the ‘Queen of Sassy’.

“Is that Hootie and the Blowfish?” The woman looked into the eyes of the Blonde, and smiled and walked away.  She turned the ‘Open’ sign  to ‘Closed’ as she walked out. 

 

 _That is Hootie and the Blowfish!_ Thranduil thought. _What psycho is blaring out that blast-from-the-past at this time of day?_ It wasn’t terribly late but, then again is it ever time to play ‘I only want to be with you’ outside of an insane asylum? _It certainly is catchy._ He started shaking his hips a little when he walked up into his fortress of solitude.  He was about to ring his neighbours and ask them to turn it down, when two drunk voices rose above the music.

 

“I nlee wanna be wit yo-oooooo” Bilbo and Bard sung at the top of their lungs.  Thranduil was at the brink of hysteria tears literally secreting from his eyes.  Thranduil pictured his friends dancing around the shop next door in a drunken-mess.  He walked back downstairs and outside and in front of Bilbo’s coffee shop. And the sight before him was certainly going to require psychological help.

“Shut up and go home! You’re Drunk!” Thranduil playfully yelled.  The brunette and the short blonde squawked in recognition of their friend.

 

 _Hell no are they going to draw me into their mess_ Thranduil told himself, and he promptly escaped into the safety of his shop.  But alas, he was followed by his ‘puppies’.  They stood through the window screaming the lyrics now.

“Hey pretty! Cme dance wit us!” Bard called.  Bilbo was swinging around the bus stop pole when he chimed in.

“Thranny! I am hungry!” He whined. _Oh fuck, I am going to need to care for those imbeciles now._ Thranduil mentally cursed himself. Opening the door and rounded up the intoxicated duo. He corralled the two into his apartment.

 

“I will be back you two; I just have to lock up.” Thranduil warned, backing out the door slowly.  The street had finally been laid to restful silence.  Only lights in windows being signs of life.  He thought about how it would feel to have _his_ Bard back. 

 

Thranduil loves whenever Bard remembers; in fact it brings him so much joy. But guilt cuts him deep; Bard remembering his past lives means he can feel the heart ache of losing his children again, being killed, the feeling of dying, everything.  That’s what hurts Thranduil, he always imagined that his pain was worse, he surpasses all, everyone he loves will inevitably die.  But Bard does too, and he never got to say goodbye to his children.

 

 _NO do not get on this train of thought Thranduil, Bard is here, you two belong together._ He told himself.  He mentally slapped himself and receded into the shadows of his shop.  He opened the door to the stair and he heard chaos. 

 

Two steps at a time, Thranduil ran to see what was going on.  Bilbo was on the floor with the entirety of his Pantry on the floor with him.  Bard, was half naked on his couch murmuring on about how he wished he could be something.  Bilbo drunkenly replied to Bard.  _What is this mess._

“Thran-the-man! Got any salsa?” Bilbo questioned.

“No, and Bilbo, Bard it is time that I get you home.” Thranduil used his father voice.

 

“Hom time?” Bard yawned. He curled himself up like a cat and nuzzled into the cushion.

“No, no, no, not here you little shit.  Your own home.” Thranduil urged.

 

It is safe to say that there was a few noise complaints from neighbours that night.

* * *

 

**Bard was basically forced into his bed by Thranduil (which wouldn’t be such a bad thing if it was in the context he wanted). _Oh my god, he is so pretty_ was blaring in his head.  And without really paying attention Bard had his phone and was texting Thranduil.**

* * *

 

*New Text from Bard* **Hi you sexy fucker. Dnner wth me? ;)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! If anyone has any tips or critisism I would appreciate it. Also any ideas I am happy to see.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions feel free to ask me. Also, if you have any pointers or things I could improve please let me know I would really appreciate it!  
> I have Tumblr if you want to follow me there. (fandom-life-damned-me-to-hiatus)  
> Thanks for reading.


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